My take on the concept of responsibility.
When I hear the word responsibility I think about all of the things that are pinned down on me because of who I am. Because I am born into an Asian family, I am expected study in the medical field but I studied film. Because I am the most studious in my family, my family probably expects good things from me after graduation. Like getting a job or going to grad school. Because I am studying film, I should be making films and doing creative things right? But wait. What if I fail at all of these things? Would I be letting everyone down? And then comes the stress to do everything right because the people around you probably expect you to succeed. It then becomes hard to let go of these responsibilities because we are afraid of letting people down. So we keep pretending that everything is how we want it to be. But do we “have” to actually live up to responsibilities that don’t make us happy? The answer is NO.
The only really good example I can think of now is my career path. When I came into Sac State, I choose to major in film because I didn’t know anything else. I was terrible at it too, it was only two years ago that I improved. Everyone tells me that I am good at it but I feel like it’s only average stuff. I don’t really think I have the passion for it deep down inside. I like it and would still love to do it on the side. See even now when I am saying these words I feel like I am letting myself and everyone down. Thinking about grad school I wanted to tell myself to keep studying film because it’s what I should do as a film student. But what I should really focus on is being open minded about career changes. The hardest thing about things like this is letting go. There’s no need to hold onto things for the sake of thinking that it is a responsibility that needs to be completed. Maybe it was more of a responsibility that I added to myself. With all of the different things I’ve volunteered for in college, my new interest lies somewhere in helping students. So maybe I’ll study higher education for my masters and that’s okay. It’s not like I have abandoned my love for film. It’s still there and I will continue to work on it.
So some last words of encouragement. Don’t stick to responsibilities to please others. Don’t stick to responsibilities because you are afraid of failing yourself and others around you. Think about yourself and your future and what would be better in the long run. This can be applied to anything; the responsibilities of being a daughter, son, wife, husband, etc. If something isn’t working out you don’t have to keep doing it because you feel it is your responsibility to keep trying. It will only make you stress more and question everything. Instead, go out and do what you want to do. Make new responsibilities in which you would want to commit to that would make you happy.