What is important to me: Relationships: Family
What is important to you? What are some values or things you hold close to you? Before writing about this topic, the first thing that came to my mind was RELATIONSHIPS. There are many types of relationships that we form in our lives. Relationships with friends, family, co-workers, and significant others. Our first relationships most likely begin within our families. As we grow up and explore school we make friends. As we get older, we learn about this thing called a job and form new relationships within a work setting. Somewhere in between, we find ourselves committed and invested into a relationship of love. These are all relationships that I have come across in the two decades that I have been alive (OMG TWO DECADES, makes me sound ancient haha). One thing I learned just a while ago was the fact that I had been horrible at balancing these relationships. There were many times where I prioritized one relationship over the other when I shouldn’t have. I started to realize that I was losing the familiarity and closeness of one relationship while I was gaining the warmness of another. It really wasn’t a healthy way of living, at least in my perspective.
When I entered college I made so many friends. I started working and the relationships I prioritized was friends and co-workers. I started coming home late because of school events and work. My house was a place where I came home to eat and sleep. It was becoming like a hotel to me. I was not as invested in my relationships with my family because I figured that they would always be there when I got home. When I got into a love relationship I prioritized that above all else. You know when you have those friends who you just lose because they only spend time with their significant other? That was me too, but it wasn’t as bad because I was in a long-distance relationship so he wasn’t always there to distract me. But when he was there, he was all that I saw. I stopped doing things with my family like going to the mall with my sisters or grocery shopping with my mom, which was the best part because she let me pick out any junk food I wanted. Instead, I did all of these things with either my friends or the significant other. Clearly my relationships were not balanced. It was love, friends/co-workers, and then my family was always last. I only talked to my sisters whenever I needed something. Otherwise I would be in my room just doing homework or studying.
So when did I really realize that my relationships were unbalanced? It was when I actually wanted to hang out with my family that I realized it. I remember wanting to go shopping before I left to study abroad. I wanted to get new clothes, but none of my sisters wanted to come with me because they had other stuff to do. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to me. I hardly did anything with them anymore. I kind of felt alone in a way. What had I done to myself that distanced me so much from my family? The answer to that was 1. I was always with the significant other or 2. with friends. Once I had lost these things, the only real relationship I had left was with my family. Being abroad for the first time, I had to learn how to do things on my own again. I didn’t have the same support back home. The thing I miss most was being with my family. I actually saw myself talking to my sisters for the first time about things that mattered. I felt like I was rebuilding the relationships that I lost. When this whole study abroad things is over, I am so excited to go back home and rebuild my relationships with my mom, dad, and five sisters. I just want to start doing the things that we use to and the things I missed out on. At the same time I want to put equal emphasis on relationships between friends, co-workers, and love.
Okay so now that you are at the end of my blog, let me summarize everything I just blabbered about. I guess what I am trying to say is that in the end I finally learned that my family is truly always going to be there for me. Friends and significant others come and go. Sometimes we are so blinded by our love and excitement for others that we forget about the true things that matter. But at the same time it is so hard to pull yourself away from things of pleasure. I am so guilty of this so don’t blame yourself. I’m not telling you to go and drop everything to focus on just your family because family is the best! What I am saying is that it’s important to have balanced relationships so that you don’t lose important people in your life or become detached from them. I think you will only truly understand the importance of balanced relationships once you have lost something important. You will come to realize who is there for you and who is not. At least that is how it was for me.
Thanks for making it this far. I hope I didn’t come off as confusing haha.
Check out other Word Vomit Wednesday blogs by my Jubilee Prject Fellows: